You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
