How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
