weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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