Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
this just has baby written all over it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
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Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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