He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
