last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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