The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
