so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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