One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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