You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
