Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
