Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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