Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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