So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize