it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
