Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it glows. i had to have it.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
