They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
