u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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