It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
