I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
vagina is talking i cant
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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