I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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