life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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