$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
