You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
