Buhtt sex?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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