He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
