Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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