just come out here and I will go home with you...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
