It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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