Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
True college students do jello shots in the library
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
