Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
