I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
