im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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