What a fucking waste of an outfit
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this will be a night to untag.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
