sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
