once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
