you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize