I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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