one might say we're banned from that church
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
