It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
