I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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