i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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