I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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