I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
