Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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