So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
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You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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