so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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