great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
