Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
