she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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