How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
