yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
