His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
