So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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