He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
