the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
