I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
