her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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