Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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