mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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