and she was petting her beer can
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Vodka?
Forever.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
