i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
