woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
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Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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