CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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